Break Away
by Mx Akiyata
Summary: Tsukishima should be at volleyball practice. He should be mocking the quick toss duo. Walking home with Yamaguchi. Living his everyday life, just as he always had. But right now, he had no desire to do those things. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do or how to react. He wasn't sure why he just couldn't feel more than a numbing emptiness.


He'd gotten the call just as classes were ending.

He and Yamaguchi were on their way to the club room to get changed for evening practice when his phone suddenly started vibrating in his pocket. He paused in walking and pulled it out to check the id.

"Who's that, Tsukki?" his friend asked curiously, stopping just ahead of him.

Tsukishima sighed. "My mom," he said and pressed a button, pulling the phone to his ear. "Moshi moshi," he answered nonchalantly and continued walking. It was unusual to get calls from his family as it was, but at school? He was curious, if not mildly confused, but not worried.

" _Kei, dear….I need you to come home right away,"_ his mother said with a shaken voice. He halted in his tracks but said nothing. _"There's been an accident."_ She paused, and he could hear her choking back tears. _"Please. I'll explain when you get home."_

He hesitated and then mumbled a sound of agreement. He stood there for a moment, listening and staring at the ground, continuing to answer vaguely, until he finally pulled the phone away.

"What was that about?" Yamaguchi asked with a hint of teasing. "Are you in trouble or something?" His smirk quickly fell though, when his friend continued to stay silent. "Tsukki—"

"Something came up," Tsukishima interrupted, masking himself in a stoic demeanor. "I have to go home. Tell Daichi I won't be coming to practice." With that, he stuffed his phone back into his pocket and began walking away, changing course for the school gate rather than the club room.

"Uh—Wait. Tsukki!" Yamaguchi shouted, but Tsukishima only lifted his hand to wave over his shoulder. And then he was gone from sight. Yamaguchi frowned and stared after him for a moment, hoping his friend would be alright. He sighed and continued toward the club room. It was strange. Even though Tsukishima wasn't really one for talking…..it somehow felt much quieter walking without him. The journey to the club room seemed so slow and drawn out. He couldn't help but worry about his friend; the way he'd hesitated and how he'd just up and left like that. Then again, he was always a quiet person. He always brushed others off. Surely this was no different.

"Ooh?" Nishinoya exclaimed as Yamaguchi entered the club room. "Yamaguchi! You came by yourself today?"

"Where's Stingyshima?" Hinata asked curiously as he fumbled to step into his gym shorts.

The rest of the team looked over expectantly. Yamaguchi shook his head and smiled. "Tsukki had to go home for the day."

"Whaaaaattt," Hinata whined. "I knew he was lazy, but is he seriously skipping practice?"

"Something came up, and he had to leave," Yamaguchi defended, waving his hands. "It's just one practice. I'm sure he'll be here tomorrow."

"Is everything alright, though?" Daichi intervened, having finished changing.

"Y-yeah! I think so. I mean, he didn't say anything else…"

"I see," Daichi sighed. "Well, alright. I'll take your word on it. Now hurry and get changed," he said with a smile and patted Yamaguchi on the shoulder as he left the room. Most of the others followed him out, leaving just Yamaguchi and a couple stragglers behind in the small room.

"Yeah. I'm sure he's fine."

* * *

Tsukkishima felt a weight on his shoulders. His legs had gone numb, refusing to lift from their place. A feeling of dread hung over him. His vision blurred. His ears were ringing. The world became a distant ball of tension.

This couldn't be real, he kept telling himself.

It had to be a lie.

But the muffled sobbing from his parents told him otherwise. This was all too real. He couldn't stop the shaky breath that left his lips trembling. Couldn't stop himself from punching the wall. Couldn't stop himself from slamming the door, even as his parents called after him. He couldn't stop himself from leaving. Running.

And suddenly, he found himself in some alleyway. He couldn't think, but his head was pounding furiously, and his heart threatened to burst from his chest. He fell against the wall and gasped for air, sliding down to a sitting position. He held his head and cursed.

" _Shit!_ "

He ran a hand through his hair, gritting his teeth. He shivered. The truth hit him, and he crumpled into himself. He held himself back.

"Shit….."

A few days later, he found himself staring solemnly down at a grave. He felt nothing but emptiness, as if a hole had been dug in place of his heart. His parents were crying again, along with dozens of others. A group of young men, Tsukishima assumed to be his brother's volleyball team, was huddled on one side, speaking proudly of Akiteru's accomplishments. They shouted their team's cheer, and they wept.

Tsukishima said nothing. People came and went, and still, he stood there. Bolted to the ground, even long after the dirt was packed down. His parents hugged him, but he couldn't bring himself to lift his arms.

"I'm just….going to stay here a while," he'd told them in a low voice.

His mother pulled away and took his face in her hands. "Careful coming home," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

His father patted him on the shoulder and stared at him for a moment, before wrapping an arm around his mother and guiding her away.

Tsukishima was alone again.

The evening sun cast a warm light over him. Orange rays bounced off the gravestone, illuminating it and casting a shadow over his brother's name. He clenched his fist, tense. _This isn't right_ , he thought. _Akiteru should be shooting balls into the hoop at home. He should be going to college and playing volleyball._ Tsukishima let out a shaky breath, relaxing his muscles. _He shouldn't be in the ground._

And Kei Tsukishima should be at volleyball practice. He should be mocking the quick toss duo. Walking home with Yamaguchi. Living his everyday life, just as he always had. But right now, he had no desire to do those things. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do; what he _should_ do.

No. He wanted to break away from it all.

He wanted to release these emotions.

He wanted to stop being strong for just a moment. Just…one moment. For the reality of the situation to sink in. For it to finally hit him. His brother was _dead_ , and yet…..he still just felt…empty. No tears, no sobbing, no words of sorrow to escape his lips. Just…..nothing. And it was the most painful _nothing_ that he'd ever felt. Like his insides were being eaten alive, dissolving as he stood there, staring. He wanted to – so badly— to just release everything right then and there. He wanted to cry for his brother. He wanted to break down, to allow himself to fall apart just this once.

But he couldn't.

* * *

"Yamaguchi," Daichi stated sternly.

The first-year jolted and turned toward his captain. The rest of the team stood around, staring curiously and expectantly at the two of them.

"Tsukishima's missed practice again," he stated and paused. "Something going on?"

Yamaguchi looked up at him, eyes wide, before staring down at the ball in his hands. Worry reflected in his eyes. He frowned. "I don't…..I don't really know," he paused. "He hasn't been answering my texts at all."

"So he hasn't said anything to you?"

Yamaguchi shook his head, his grip on the ball tightening. He felt a hand on his back and glanced up to see Sugawara smiling comfortingly.

"You know where he lives, don't you?" the third-year asked, rubbing the boy's shoulder reassuringly. "Why don't you go see him yourself," he suggested. "If it's alright with Captain, of course," he said, glancing up at Daichi, who gave a steady nod. "Go on. Practice is almost over anyway."

He nodded and sighed, relaxing himself. Sugawara gently took the ball from his hands and smiled one last time before walking back onto the court. Yamaguchi slowly changed out his shoes and left, stopping by the club room to get changed before heading to his friend's house. He couldn't help but worry. Tsukki had never completely ignored him like this. And it wasn't like him to miss so much practice, let alone school. And with his mom calling him at school…. _"Something came up"_ rang through his head. That was basically his friend's way of saying "Something's wrong, but I don't want to talk about it."

And here Yamaguchi stood, hesitating at the door of the Tsukishima household. He swallowed and knocked. He could hear quiet steps make their way to the door, and it opened a crack to reveal both of his friend's parents. They looked like they'd been crying.

Yamaguchi froze, and he could feel himself shaking. "Is….is Kei here…?" He didn't understand what was going on.

Mr. Tsukishima shook his head, as his wife had sunken back into the house, crying. "He's probably still at the cemetery," he whispered gravely. "If you find him, please, tell him to come home." He turned away, saying something to his wife, but Yamaguchi didn't hear it.

He turned away as the door closed, and his eyes cemented themselves to the ground. Why? Why would Tsukki be at the cemetery? Why were his parents crying?

Why hasn't Tsukki said anything?

Frustrated, he bit his lip and charged forward, mustering all of his strength to run. He kept running, even as tears pricked his eyes, and his lungs threatened to explode. He ran, gasping, until he had reached the cemetery's gate. And there he stopped and clutched the fabric over his chest, struggling to even his breaths. He lifted his head, and finally, he could see the lone back figure standing in the field of graves.

"Tsukki-" he breathed. "Tsukki!" He ran toward his friend, only slowing as he approached. Tsukishima didn't bother to look up. Yamaguchi stopped beside him and followed the other's gaze down to the grave. His eyes widened, and he could feel his tears welling up. The shock he felt was quickly overcome by grief. "Wha…." He couldn't muster the words, and once again, silence consumed the grave site. Tears were flowing down his cheeks, and he bit his lip to keep himself from voicing his anguish.

"He was hit by a car," Tsukishima stated blandly. "Died on impact." _Couldn't even say goodbye._

Yamaguchi tilted his head to stare up at his friend, noting the lack of emotion on his face. " _Tsukki…_." he whined and then let out a sob. "Tsukki, I—Why didn't you tell me?"

Tsukishima blinked and lowered his gaze. A heavy silence passed between them, and finally, he sighed. "I know you don't do well with this kind of thing."

Yamaguchi stared in disbelief. "Tsukki…..Tsukki, don't you trust me?" He frowned, barely concealing his shaking frame. "I don't care about me. What about you?" he sobbed, voice rising slightly. "I've been worried. You wouldn't answer my texts. You wouldn't come to school or practice. Everyone's worried." He stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat, not daring to meet his friend's eyes. He lowered his voice to nothing more than a whisper. "Don't you trust me to be there for you?"

Tsukishima frowned. "It's not that."

"Then what?" Yamaguchi pleaded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He hesitated, as if thinking over his reply. "I don't know," he admitted with a tinge of remorse in his voice. "I'm not really sure how to react to all of this."

"Tsukki….." Yamaguchi sniffled and furiously wiped his face with the back of his arm. "Then let's go home!" he exclaimed, grabbing hold of his friend's arm. "Let's go….so your parents don't worry. And…maybe….maybe it'll give you the chance to react the way you want to." He looked up firmly, eyes full of determination. "Okay, Tsukki?"

Tsukishima only nodded and returned his gaze to the grave for a brief moment. "Sorry," he muttered, "for not telling you."

Yamaguchi offered him a thoughtful smile and tugged at Tsukishima's sleeve. "It's alright. Anyway…the whole team is worried about you, you know."

Tsukishima grunted in response. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"You sure you'll be fine?"

"…..yeah. I'll be fine."

* * *

 **Eh...so this is my first Haikyuu fic, and I kind of just wrote it on a whim, so it doesn't really have a very strong story. (Or ending, for that matter, because I suddenly didn't want to continue writing.) Sorry. But I hope you liked it anyway.**

 **Thanks for reading and _please review~!_**


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